RADAR
COKE, BLOWJOBS, AND FREE HOTELS: THE WORLD’S MOST AWESOME GOVERNMENT AGENCY
YEAH, MANAGE THOSE MINERALS MMS Execs (Mostly Innocent!)
You know that annoying guy in the office? The one who keeps calling you, asking for cocaine, even though you’d already given him some that very day? And he keeps calling until you finally give up and tell him to come over, and your roommate has some crystal meth, so you just give him that and he does some lines off the toaster, and he won’t shut up, so you finally give him a blowjob? And then, on the way between two meetings at work, he’s always stuffing some chick’s face into his lap, even though he’s her boss? And thenwhen people start asking questions, he tells everyone that that chick was trying to “entrap” him sexually, even though he was the one calling her all the time? (God, we hate that guy in our office!) Welcome to the U.S. Government’s Mineral Management Service, one of the nation’s biggest income-producing agenciesand its hero, Greg Smith.
Hero? Yes. But party animal Greg Smith wasn’t the only wonderful person in that office.
There’s Stacy Leyshon, who ate out on oil company’s dimes regularly, helped out bidders when they forgot to include transportation costsand also ran her own sex toy and party business, for which she’d pass out cards at work. (She had a franchise, apparently, of something called “Passion Parties, Inc.”) She apparently spent many of her weekends skiing and playing golf with pals from Shell. Oops, one time she slept with a guy from Shell too.
You can find the three amazing Department of the Interior reports herethey’re the top three links on that page. The investigation took two years, more than $5 million and the review of nearly 500,000 documents, which seems a little insane, given that it just uncovers that the government runs offices that are just like our offices.
One other thing that hasn’t been noted in the newspapers: one employee from Shell refused to be interviewed, but they found a couple great emails from him, including an invite to a Houston Texans tailgate party, which read, in part, “You’re invited… have you and the girls meet at my place at 6 a.m. for bubble baths and final prep. Just kidding….” And another, that said: “it’s a given that the horsemen will indeed ‘bring the meat to the table.'”
Fortunately other Shell employees totally narced out the MMS party gals. The gals include Crystel Edler, who worked for Leyshon, who only had two relationships with oil industry execs (one each from Shell and Chevron).
Also, Chevron as a whole refused to cooperate with the three years-long investigations into the cheating, cocaine-using, bid-downgrading, first-class-flying, subordinate-sexing drunken party that has been the Mineral Management Service these last few years. Even though clearly both Chevron and Shell had been providing “gifts” to the employees. This is what makes America great!
Royal Dutch Shell conspired directly with Hitler, financed the Nazi Party, was anti-Semitic and sold out its own Dutch Jewish employees to the Nazis. Shell had a close relationship with the Nazis during and after the reign of Sir Henri Deterding, an ardent Nazi, and the founder and decades long leader of the Royal Dutch Shell Group. His burial ceremony, which had all the trappings of a state funeral, was held at his private estate in Mecklenburg, Germany. The spectacle (photographs below) included a funeral procession led by a horse drawn funeral hearse with senior Nazis officials and senior Royal Dutch Shell directors in attendance, Nazi salutes at the graveside, swastika banners on display and wreaths and personal tributes from Adolf Hitler and Reichsmarschall, Hermann Goring. Deterding was an honored associate and supporter of Hitler and a personal friend of Goring.
Deterding was the guest of Hitler during a four day summit meeting at Berchtesgaden. Sir Henri and Hitler both had ambitions on Russian oil fields. Only an honored personal guest would be rewarded with a private four day meeting at Hitler’s mountain top retreat.
IN JULY 2007, MR BILL CAMPBELL (ABOVE, A RETIRED GROUP AUDITOR OF SHELL INTERNATIONAL SENT AN EMAIL TO EVERY UK MP AND MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS: 
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A head-cut image of Alfred Donovan (now deceased) appears courtesy of The Wall Street Journal.
