(The Times article below by Martin Waller openly ridicules Jeroen van der Veer, the Chief Executive Officer of Royal Dutch Shell Plc)
The Times: A word in your Shell-like — it’s all gibberish
January 5, 2008
City Diary Martin Waller
An e-mail arrives. It is from Shell, the subject of embarrassing leaks this week about plans to sack 3,000 people and outsource the IT functions. It is the internal e-mail setting out the official version of events to staff. Pass by the fact that it is virtually illiterate. In it, Jerome K. Jerome, sorry, Jeroen van der Veer, chief executive of Shell, explains that the outsourcing of jobs “is an excellent example of a function driving towards top quartile”. This translates as, you’re sacked, but we still get our bonuses. I am reliably informed that this is how people within Shell do talk to each other. As in “as Shell’s businesses implement their strategies to achieve ‘More Upstream, Profitable Downstream’ and top quartile, there has been an equal drive in the functions as well”. read more
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