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Old EP hand replies to criticism of comments about Shell and Nigeria

Nigerian Laddy, my brodder! How now, how de Madam? Eeh, my headengine, him go disappoint me big-oh how you be talking to your brodder. No peppersoup and goatstew wid de foo-foo for you today!


The original comment by Old EP hand related to our article: Shell Unit Sells Interest in Nigerian Oil Mining Lease for $567

This is the latest exchange on our Shell Blog:

Nigeria Laddy posting on Nov 18th, 2012 at 11:06

Old EP Hand: It’s guys like you that screwed up Nigeria years ago – that is what my friends here tell me. Thank you very much. Don’t blame management of today – go look in the mirror. Perhaps giving back your pension would the decent thing to do instead of bad mouthing the current generation, incl. management.

old EP hand posting on Nov 19th, 2012 at 16:14

Nigerian Laddy, my brodder! How now, how de Madam? Eeh, my headengine, him go disappoint me big-oh how you be talking to your brodder. No peppersoup and goatstew wid de foo-foo for you today!

I cannot let your silly remark go like that. I have looked after many good Nigerians in my time. And I have looked (like many others) after the wellbeing of your country as much as possible. But you must admit that your country is about the most corrupt in the world and going down the drain rapidly. This is the root of all the problems. So, you go to your village and stop the extended family palaver and instead you go fix the big ogas in YOUR government. At all levels. And if it does not work via the democratic ballot box (which it won’t) you take up arms. Plenty arms around, just look at all the gangsters running Lagos. Area boys they call themselves.

No point looking at others to solve YOUR problems. Those problems are indeed very big. I wish you good luck. And don’t wait for my pension to be wasted on the Nigerian corruption. It could be the most beautiful and rich country in the world, but you people have chosen to screw it up and I can tell you, you have succeeded! And in good fashion you blame it on the white man, the Syrians, the Lebanese, the Ghanaians, slavery, other countries, churches, koran, bible, the Igbo, the Yoruba, the Haussa or whatever else and then you hold up your hand begging for a hand-out. It never appears to be you guys who are to be blamed yourself. I have no time for your whining. I read the book of Peter Enahoro ‘How to be a Nigerian’, I suggest you do the same. Enahoro was a decent man, who saw very clear what was wrong. And he had a great sense of humor!

Comment posted by “Relieved” 2012/11/20 at 16:41

John: I read the recent exchange between Nigeria Laddy and Old EP Hand with some interest. Having worked for Shell for years, and having worked the exploration plays of West Africa, I think that I have some knowledge about the problems in that terribly screwed up part of the world. The truth is that both of these parties are correct. Nigeria is in every sense a failed country. But Africa is in every sense a failed continent. However, the past is water under the bridge and nothing can be done about it. Life is not fair, if you have not yet noticed. Nigerians and Africans cannot go on forever blaming the white man for their failure to get their act together, take charge of their futures, and put together functional governments that serve the needs of the people. Nobody is going to do this for them. So, these people indeed need to quit ‘whining and whimpering’ and get on with the business of building a future for themselves. The time for excuses for is long over.

Posted by LondonLad 2012/11/20 at 16:47

Absolutely correct and well stated “old EP hand”, I have often stated such facts before on this website, particularly to those such as the Ogoni’s who cannot vent their anger & frustrations with their own dreadful government and therefore rely on attacking the likes of Shell. Another clear objective is to take Shell, and others, to court in order to make as much money from them by attempting to sue on often fictitious facts. Most notable is the pollution in the Delta region (which I admit is awful) that is now caused primarily by the locals who attempt oil theft and vandalism of the pipelines. Corruption, corruption, corruption is the cancer of Nigeria, but, as you say, Nigerians will blame anybody but themselves. Having spent time in Lagos over many years it is awful how a large majority of Nigerians are just out for the quick (now-now) fast buck and are totally unwilling to help their fellow Nigerian. I remember helping out at the “Friends of the Disabled” for a number of years and if it wasn’t for external help (e.g. Shell, the occasional foreign volunteer) these people would have been totally discarded by the state and local community.

Posted by Ben Ikari 2012/11/22 at 06:01

LondonLad? again with Ogoni in your mouth. Well,if you have an iota of the truth in you, you’d agree Ogonis have a solid record of championing a just and nonviolent struggle against the nigerian govt/$hell. Your anacondic precursor, $hell has a principle and teaching in Ogoni/Niger delta that says people can lie, destroy their very existence to be able to eat. This is because $hell has exploits and siphons the peoples’ resources in conspiracy with the nigerian govt, thus destroyed the peoples’ livelihoods by degrading the environment to making poverty and diseases endemic. This sad development permits weakness and gullibility. To say the least you’ve continued to be prevaricatious with frivolous or spurious assertions about my Ogoni people. I bet you will fail like $hell has continued to fail! When I asked you how many percentage of oil spill $hell has caused in 46 years (1958 to 2004) before the issues of oil theft, which $hell and the govt are reportedly involved and sabotage find their way into Nigeria’s lexicon you couldn’t reply to date. Saro-Wiwa’s work will stand the test of time to show how he stood up to the Nigerian govt I have numerously lambasted for its incompetence, corruption and deadliness among other ills. $hell, which designs most of nigeria’s oil industry legislation that favors not Ogonis and other oil bearing communities was also exposed by Saro-Wiwa due to the unholy alliances between the govt and her. Saro-Wiwa died because he refused $hell’s overtures and didn’t bow to its threats. Some Ogoni politicians and $hell lured/groomed leaders are susceptible to $hell’s bribery and corrupt practices and so could parley with your master. What do you expect in a country where $hell rules; a place where $hell’s-led corruption and violence for profit-making is an epidemic? Notwithstanding the corruption practices enshrined and instilled by $hell, Ogonis, which include myself have continued to demand openness, honesty, direct and competent communication, accountability from Ogoni politicians and leaders. The record is obvious. Therefore, stop lying against the Ogoni people,even though we aren’t perfect people,and no group or people have been nor will be perfect. $hell’s influence is corrupt and violent influence, but where there is a government as the current Obama government corporations such as $hell,BP are made to cough some of their blood money from Ogoni/Africa out, though they still use most Republican party lawmakers to seek legislation that may protect them from doing the right things.

Posted by Deltastic on Nov 22nd, 2012 at 17:03

Ikari, you need to shorten your response!! Way too much waffle & repetition. Bottom line remains as others have already stated – Nigeria is rotten to the core and the Ogonis aren’t much different.

Follow-up posting by Deltastic on 23 November: 

Forgot to add – how much of the money screwed out of various companies by the Ogoni “elders/leaders” has actually been received at the coal face? Very,very little I would imagine. Most has no doubt been put in some fat Nigerian’s Swiss/UK bank account. All these guys do is to aggitate the youths to cause problems (aka the “area boys”) and then reap the rewards from the aftermath.

Book Description on Amazon: This famous little book is one of the funniest to come out of Africa. First published in 1966, it continues to be in demand. The Nigerian author turns a humorous and ironic eye on his fellow compatriots. The book is descibed as a guide for Nigerians and expatriates on the conduct, deportment, comportment, bearing, deameanour, mien, carriage, actions, the misdoings, misconduct and misbehaviours of the Nigerian adult male and female. Sprinkled with anecdotes and cartoons, the book addresses the Nigerian essence.

Peter Enahoro and its sister websites,,,,, and are all owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia article.

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